29-Year bollywood marriage ends: What Is gray divorce and why is it on the rise?

New Delhi (The Uttam Hindu): What do Bill and Melinda Gates, AR Rahman and Saira Banu, Kamal Haasan and Sarika Thakur, Arbaaz Khan and Malaika Arora, and Aamir Khan and Kiran Rao have in common? They all parted ways after decades of marriage. Oscar-winning composer AR Rahman and his wife Saira Banu have announced their separation after nearly 30 years together. Married in 1995, the couple, aged 57 and 50 respectively, share three children—Khatija, Raheema, and Ameen. The announcement came via Saira's lawyer, Vandana Shah, who stated that the decision followed emotional strain in their relationship. “Despite their deep love for each other, the tensions and difficulties have created an insurmountable gap between them, which neither feels able to bridge at this time,” the statement read. Rahman described the separation as “shattering” and expressed that he had hoped they would make it to their 30th anniversary. This split adds to the growing trend of “gray divorces,” a term referring to couples aged 50 and above who end long-term marriages.

What Is Gray Divorce?

Gray divorce refers to couples over the age of 50 who end their marriages, often after many decades together. These couples are sometimes referred to as "silver splitters."

How Common Is Gray Divorce?

Gray divorces have been rising. A 2022 study highlighted that divorce rates among middle-aged and older adults have increased since 1970. According to Pew Research, 40% of all divorces in the U.S. over the past two decades involved individuals aged 50 or older. The rate of gray divorces has doubled since 1990, and for those over 65, the rate has tripled. About 34% of gray divorces involve couples married for 30 years or more, while 12% have been married for 40 years or longer.

Why Are Older Couples Getting Divorced?

While younger couples often divorce due to issues like parenting style differences, abuse, or general incompatibility, older couples typically split for reasons like empty nest syndrome, infidelity, and financial differences. Empty nest syndrome occurs when couples, after their children leave home, realize they have little in common outside of their parental roles. To fill the void, some seek fulfillment outside the marriage.